I just needed some time to let my feelings settle and figure out what I want.
L.a. affairs: i was 40 and tired of dating-app disasters. so i hired a matchmaker
My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. It was yet another online dating failure for me. Looking through two-dimensional images of men on my phone felt more like a game to pass time than a thoughtful process of choosing a potential romantic partner. After the rejection text, I decided I was done with all apps and websites advertising shortcuts for meeting your one and only. Having just turned 40, I knew that living 34 miles east of L. Are you a veteran of L. We want to publish your story. I decided to go for it. I hired the professional matchmaking service to help me find a potential life partner.
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After I committed to the process, I felt enormous relief. I had outsourced the physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting search for a husband. I no longer had to fret about optimizing my chances of meeting eligible bachelors. A friend of mine likened it to hiring a real estate agent.
Before finding the man of my dreams, however, I had to establish a healthy and functioning relationship with the matchmaker — Christie — that I was paired up with at Three Day Rule. Here was a woman whose job it was to know intimate details about my romantic life. The first two matches were nice, but nothing clicked.
Then, she matched me with John. She found him by engaging in some deep social-media digging.
It took him a day to respond, to get over the shock of it. When he did, he told her he was ready. As he later told me, she asked him many of the same questions she asked me — relationship history, family dynamics and more.
He passed her test, and she gave him my after filling me in on their meeting. More L. Affairs columns. He called a few days later, and we chatted for about 45 minutes. Conversation flowed easily between us.
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A few days before our first date, I went for a pedicure after months of neglecting my toenails. It was then that I realized how invested I was in making a good first impression. We met for coffee at Grand Central Market. It was a strategic choice on his end.
Later on, he shared how he chose a central location so we could extend our date if there was chemistry between us. And chemistry there was.
We ended up spending the day together. The ease of interaction we experienced on the phone was alive and well during this face-to-face encounter. It was easy to sense his thoughts from the get-go. His expressive blue eyes never failed to cue me in on how he really felt about certain issues.
When I see my own reflection in them nowadays, as talk has turned to marriage, I see the love and tenderness he feels toward me.
This thing we have is real. Hiring a matchmaker was a gamble, but I needed a guide to the complicated twists and turns that make up dating in the 21st century in a massively sprawling city like L. We sometimes muse about whether we would have met without her help. Affairs chronicles the search for love in and around Los Angeles.
If you have comments or a true story to tell, us at LAAffairs latimes. I went on a bunch of blind dates with total losers. What solidarity is and how you can practice it.
Find "the one" with help from luxury matchmakers
What does Asian and Black racial solidarity look like? This year-old organized a rally for cross-racial solidarity. All Sections. About Us. B2B Publishing. Business Visionaries. Hot Property.
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Times Events. Times Store. Facebook Twitter Show more sharing options Share Close extra sharing options. By Sunny Lie. The text message came at 5 p.
Lifestyle L. More From the Los Angeles Times. Lifestyle What solidarity is and how you can practice it. Lifestyle What does Asian and Black racial solidarity look like? Lifestyle This year-old organized a rally for cross-racial solidarity.